It’s a Secret Audit

Today there were some little things that I was finding irksome, these mostly related to the up and coming audit. But there was a bout of email ping-pong in the morning, this related to problems with cut and paste. It was sorted out, the correct list of files was delivered to me by late morning, these were then copied into place and all was well in the mechanical garden in the end. Finding out that someone in an other part of the business was quite happily agreeing to be audited on things which we didn’t have a clue about, well the work irksome is the best that I can come up with at the moment. Having had a quick thought about this person, I was amazed to discover how many adjectives described him almost perfectly – unfortunately none of them can be printed here. Instead it would be better to say that the elevator does go all the way to the top floor, but the doors don’t open when it gets there. Anyway later in the morning one of the managers came to see me, we discussed the upcoming audit. During the course of the conversation I watched the goal posts start to shimmer then disappear, only to reappear some distance away having been tele-ported again! At least not too far this time, the batteries must have gone flat – so pretty lucky eh?

Any time that this audit has been discussed it’s like I’m speaking a different language, or listening to one. It’s a bit like holding a converstion with the Policeman from “Allo Allo”, you know the secret one. Every single thing that he just said makes complete sense – it’s just not what it sounded like. As an example, here’s a quote that I found from the character.
 
I was pissing by the door, when I heard two shats. You are holding in your hand a smoking goon; you are clearly the guilty potty.
It makes perfect sense, but means some thing completely different. These seem to be the things that have to be dealt with, in order to make things go smoothly – well as smoothly as they can. I have decided to just do the damn thing the way I thought I should at the beginning, presenting everyone with a doohickey that works mostly. If there’s a problem, I’ll just blame the language barrier!