In line with most companies with a significant IT estate, we have a security team. The team has a great responsibility within the company, protecting us from all sorts of external and internal threats. The head of the security team Garry Rotter, carries a great burden with him in his day to day work. He is our primary defence against the dark arts and takes this very seriously, in order to ensure the safety of data and his job he won’t even tell people internally what the problems are just in case they get fixed and his team can’t find anything during the next security sweep.

This chap is a master of security, having come from a background in computer operations he is fully aware of the problems that are caused when a tape or CD of data is misplaced. Obvious really, there is no where to put your hot cup of coffee without leaving one of those unsightly cup rings.Less clear however is his mastery of the english language, in particular his understanding of the phrase “non intrusive” after bringing down significant parts of the Unix estate on three consecutive “Scans of Doom”. However in reality this was just dictionary problem, Garry Rotter didn’t have one with pictures in it.

In order to ease the burden placed on Garry Rotter, the company have provided him with a superior team of computer security experts. These people are right up to date with the latest methods used to gain access to computer networks and the data on them, they know that keeping secret any vulnerabilities will ensure that no one knows how to get in because it’s secret.

The IT Security Team.
 As can be seen from the picture on the left, the IT security team pays great attention to things and has a nice pink glow. This pink glow is often mistaken for skin tones, it is in actual fact the refraction of the visible light caused by the “Teflon Coating” that the team has has specially applied.To understand the security team function is very difficult, most people think that this part of IT exists to protect our systems and data against damage and theft. In reality they are there to ensure that we can never comply with the targets that we have set, they do this in an effortless way.

When asked about security of the Network, Systems and Data there seems to be answers indicating that you shouldn’t be asking these questions. However when someone has the affront to step up and suggest some thing proactive, the response is along the lines of “Oh …Well, actually what we were hoping for was something to do the security for us. We just don’t have time for that security rigmarole.”