When I started contracting, I imagined that the work would be general run of the mill systems admin work. But looking back most of the work I’ve done has been fairly specialist, being brought in to an organisation to fill a perceived gap in the skill set. I was going through my journal on one site when I found this post, it’s a few years old now and I find that little has changed.
Well, here I am at the end of the first week in a new contract. Already I’m wondering if there will ever be a contract where I actually end up doing the job that I was hired to do. Things didn’t start badly, other than the first hotel that I was in had a Karaoke night on – well all three nights that I was resident. Karaoke is described as “A fun phenomenon that is sweeping the globe, where singers provide their own vocal accompaniment to their favorite songs.”. Bollox, it’s about anoying people who haven’t had 12 pints of Stella Artois.
I made it to the office where I am to work in good time, the team members were all friendly. I was assigned a temporary desk, this being due to the fact that my assigned desk wasn’t populated with the required work station, phone, etc. When I was told the reason for this, the alarm bells should have started to ring.
The lift was out of order and a work station base unit was not safe to carry up the stairs, not as you would expect due to the weight about 5Kg. Oh no, due to the fact that it’s a Health and Safety violation. You are not allowed to go up or down the stairs without holding the handrail, it’s not such a bad thing I suppose. After all it’s for our safety, it’s nice to be well looked after I thought to myself.
I had only been at my teporary desk for a short time, when I was asked to turn my car round. I stupidly didn’t take my telepathy pill that morning, so was unaware that you always have to reverse park. While out turning the car around, I had a look for the sign. You know, the one telling me to reverse park before I left my car and walked 100 yards in the pouring rain. It transpired that it had been removed some time ago. But I again comforted myself in the certainty that it was for my own good.
One thing that I was sure of, the Le Mans start at 4:00 PM would be safe as every one would be pointing the same way. I only hoped that I would be the first to the traffic lights at the end of the road.
Back at my temporary desk, I read the security policy documents. Filled in the applications for access to various parts of the building. Found out where things like the canteen was, where the coffee machine was, along with all the other things that you have to know. The next four days went by slowly, punctuated with check to see if the rain was off before I made a trip to the smoking area. Or buying every one else a coffee from the canteen, as the coffee machine in the office was in imminent danger of being prosecuted under the Sale of Goods Act.
Then Friday arrived, this apparently is the stupid question day. Of course, as the new boy I decided to fit right in there by asking my first stupid question. “Where can I find information relating to the names, location and importance of the systems?” I said. This was greeted with hoots of derision by my fellow team members, I’d soon learn they said. For this reason there was no documentation, every body new the answer to that question.
Well Monday is nearly here, they are going to turn me loose on the systems. I’m sure that I will find out which are the important systems, where thay are and what they do. But I’m not really sure that I care any more, I might just try and fit in with the rest of this apathetic bunch here and ask the doctor for some prozac.